People see
me as a very gentle and meek gentleman who never gets angry but when I do they
get shocked. While growing up, if I get angry over an issue, my friends usually
question the person that got me angry. They know it takes months even years for
me to react with strong anger over an issue meaning I must have endured it for
a really long time. I was a shock absorber indeed.

When I am
angry, I like to express myself and not letting me talk in the hope that it
will calm me down will only worsen the situation but the worst is if you place
your hand on me. Normally that should calm anybody down but it gets me
irritated and my anger increases. I don’t know why but that it is.

I have been
at the receiving end of anger two at some points when growing up and even as an
adult both off and in school, we end up either as victims of the consequence of
anger or transferred aggression.
Whether our
anger at any time is justified or not, we must understand that how we react or
handle it both inside of us, and outside of us could either break or make us or
someone else. We must also bear in mind that certain damages caused by our
actions and inactions when we are angry cannot be undone.

I have
however identified 10 ways a step up man can handle his anger issues but there
could be more.

1.  Be Calm
It is most
difficult to remain calm in the face of provocation especially from an annoying
fellow who isn’t showing any sign of remorse or lacking clear understanding.
However if
you must be a step up man or remain one, you must learn to be calm at any
circumstance. It wouldn’t make you a weak man even if it might appear so to the
small minds.

Being calm
makes you see things clearly and put your mind and spirit at a vantage position
of handling the issues properly and the result might be rewarding.

2.  Listen
The best
time to listen is when you are angry. It might sound funny though but the truth
is that any one desiring peace and not willing to make a wrong judgement must
learn the act of listening to someone even if they might sound annoying.
Listening to
the person will help you draw the right conclusion as it would have given you
the opportunity to gather sufficient information or reason as to whatever
caused the anger or provocation.

3.  Speak Little Words
plenty when you are angry will not help the situation. You need to be
calculative and careful what you say as you would not be able to take certain
words back even if you are the one that was offended.
Learn to
think before you talk. Let your mind, your heart and your mouth work together
in unity.

4.  Know When To Walk Away
A step up
man should be able to know when to walk away from an argument. When the
situation is getting over heated and no one is making sense or listening to the
other or your words or his words are worsening the situation, a step up man
should take the initiative and walk away to return when he or the other person
is calm.

5.  Be Ready To Forgive
offended persons take an offense too serious that they vow never to forgive. I
was shared a hostel wing with a lad we considered a sadist. He said he never
forgives anyone he has a quarrel with and it runs in his family blood. Well
that’s unfortunate but if you got that spirit flowing in your blood, bro you
gat to cast it out by any means possible.
A person who
never forgives, will never be forgiven by others he will probably hurt in
future. And never feel you are too saint to wrong any man. You never can tell
whose forgiveness you would be needing when tomorrow comes.

6.  Be Prepared To Let Go
One thing is
to forgive and another is to let go. It’s common to hear people say ‘I can
forgive but will never forget’. Well well well, it depends on what context you
stand on. Our memory of things can never be wiped let no body mislead you on
that, however, to forgive and forget means to let go of.
To let go of
means that particular issue does not define your future relationship with the
person as long as he was truly repentant. If he was sorry deep from the heart
and makes another mistake another day, you don’t judge him based on the past,
you face the issue on ground.
Letting go
of, makes you have peace within your heart, spirit, body and soul.

7.  Take a Long Walk
When you are
angry, very angry that you could take an irrational action, one of the best
step to take is to take a  long walk than
the road or around the park. It could go a long way to help but ensure your
mind is off the issue.

8.  Take a Shower or a Swim
When I am
deeply depressed I go to the pool for a swim and I find peace under the water. I
come out stronger after a sweet swim at the pool.
I meet
strangers whom we swim together and I cherish the opportunity the association,
the dives, the play and the laughter provides at that moment. I also offer to
help teach new persons how to swim.
I put aside
every depression or anger I must come with and the truth is that my day ends
happy and I leave in better shape and mindset and better prepared to handle whatsoever
had tried to steal my joy.
If I am not
in the pool, a nice bath in the shower calms my nerves and my brain I am
convinced releases sane hormones that affords me the privilege to act rightly
and respond positively to angry situations.

9.  Listen to Music/Comedy/Movies
One good way
to deal with anger is listening to music/songs or movies/comedies that have a
positive effect at calming your spirit down.
You should
be able to know the kind of entertainment that soothes your soul at every

Busy with Something
One way I get
to handle angry or depressing situations is to get busy doing something. I can’t
write when I am angry but I could clean up my house all night.
I spend time
in the kitchen doing the diches and even doing laundry in the bathroom. Some friends
have come to know that and would ask me what is wrong. I do not like being ask
because if I wanted to talk to someone I would have.
It works for
me and could work for you.
should be able to identify what works for them and stick to it. We need to
learn to control our emotions. Not everyone is born with a shock absorber, some
have to buy and fix one in the free market of common sense and wisdom.
In the
future, I would be writing on ‘talking to someone’ as a topic on its own but
note it is also an import of handling anger issues.
The step up
man is one who makes effort to become a better person to himself, his loved
ones and to the society at large.

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